One

Christmas break was a new experience for me. For the first time in my life (and I mean this in all seriousness) I wanted to spend time with my family rather than my friends. When did this happen? Last Christmas I spent more time out and less time sleeping in the hopes of soaking up all the time with those wonderful people that I could. 

For the first time I realized that they were my everything. It didn't matter that I don't completely understand everything that's going to happen after this life. My family is seven different kinds of messed up. I mean, I pretty sure it scares people away from me after they learn how messed up it is. But it's my life and I've learned to love - other people will too. 

Anyway, I spent time with my family. I tried to be home in time for dinner every night. I went out to lunch with my mom and Dave. I went and saw the other side of the family too! And almost everyone was there and that was just great - getting to catch up, see the young and the old and the in-between and eat a lot. For the first time in forever my whole family was together at Christmas and I got to play with baby R and laugh until I thought I'd pee my pants (also complete seriousness here). It was all in all a great end to 2013. 

But then it seemed in an instant, it all was going to change. I found out that all my plans had fallen through with a situation and a lot of other trials were thrown at me. My patience and my faith were being tested within two hours of the new year. What was I going to do? Not only that, but I'd gone on a whim and dropped all the classes I 'needed' and rearranged my whole schedule and what I'd thought had been a good decision at the time added to the growing mess that my life was. 

I don't know why I ever worried. 

A ended up coming back to Utah with me and I think that that was a miracle for the both of us. Flights were cheap enough for her to get back home. We had some extra money to be able to afford food and travel expenses there. My schedule worked out. My books all came out to be a lot cheaper than I thought. She got to see her friends who have found a special place in my heart also. We sat and talked about life, love, the gospel, the weather, food, and whatever else was on our mind. We watched more shows and movies than I had in the last four months and consumed enough junk to be cover our calories for a month at least (still don't regret any of it). We stayed up late and slept in and caught snowflakes on our tongues. But most importantly we looked for a place to live this summer. A needed a push to know that she needed to take a break from her life at home and seek out opportunities for herself out here. I needed to know that I wasn't alone. That even though I felt alone at times and I complained about not having any friends, I had one of my biggest fans on my side and that she would take care of me after I spend all my time taking care of everyone else. Someone that finally, FINALLY understands my situation and pretty much all aspects of it too. I can tell her everything and she'll tell me when I'm being stupid. She'll push me to do better and let me cry and above all be the friend I need when I need it. And she'll probably think this is mushy and creepy but it's okay. Because she'll love me through it.

Yes, it was a lot of fun. And yes, I spent more time goofing around the past week than I probably should have. But I also made the best memories and felt comfort that I haven't in a long time. And it brings me happiness to know that it wasn't her or I that orchestrated this but a blessing in disguise. I'm just glad I took the time to recognize it.